I guess I'd rather hurt ; then feel nothing at all.

Let's be honest.

I don't know how much longer I can put up with this.




It's sadd...
When we aren't talking ; theres always another girl you can turn too.
When promises are broken ; and I'm left to second guess everything.
When you say she's not important ; but you still talk to her.
Friends before...your girlfriend.?




Am I overeacting.?
In my opinion....NO.

I don't know what to believe anymore.

Truth of the matter...I'm not your everything...?



And the worst part is ; I'm writting this on Christmas Eve. < | 3

Pointless.

It's annoying, when everyone tells you
"Dude their just friends, clam down."

Aren't you susposed to trust your heart.? Go by that.?
Well my heart is telling me other wise.

I hate how everytime I see you, your with a girl.
Shitt, your with HER.!

I'm falling apart, I'm trusting my heart.<|3

Everyone says their "just friends."

-Gizmo.

What went wrong.?

Her body is weak..
Her mind lost and fragual..
Slowy breathing, savering each breath..
Who knows how far she is from death..

She fakes a smile..
And does her best..
Acting like, as if the world is not on her chest..
Her mind runs wild, like it's a test..
She's going to fail, she has no quest..

She want to scream, she wants to cry..
But she'll just lie, and say she's fine..
No one can see, see deep inside..
What she hides...
This pain, the anger..
All she dispise...
She hits her knees, and beings to cry..
She scared for her life, no more will she lie..

But no one understands, nor will they ever..
Put the pieces together..
Her body is a freather..
Tell her you love her, let the truth me known..
She doesn't have long...
Till her life is gone..


-Gizmo.

0.o

Tired of hearing the samethings.
Over && Over.
"Keep your head up."
"Your gonna be fine."

Who would of thought, it would be this hard
for her to smile.
I wish, you could tell me you love me.
Even if you don't mean it.?
Hold me tight, tell me something sweet.
It's something I need to hear.
I'm dieing on the insidee.


I gave up hope a long time ago...



-Gizmo.

End.

The oldest person to live, that's documented is Jeanne Calment of France, who died at the age 122 in 1997.

And I, Gizmo..I was told I'm going to live to be 16....16.!
My heart dropped to my stomach as I read those words.

"...I believe, since we are unable to conclude what is happening to Sarah. Also since these troubles have been apperent for so long, I'm sorry to say. But she will only live to be 16 years of age...."

Your not susposed to know when your going to die...
I've never be so scared in my life.

-Gizmo.

G & B.

Sarah "Gizmo" Carrizales && Bianca Leah Figueroa.
I bet you've heard of us.? Que no.?
The freshmen who were AND I QUOTE "Wasted off our ass's at homecoming."?
I swear man, it's just entertainment to hear the new things people came up with.
Gizmo:"They wanna see drunk.? We'll show them drunk.!"
Bianca:"While we're rolling down a f'kn hill at lunch.!"
LMFAO.!
I can't have a serious conversation with this girl without laughing.(:

According to heads, we get drunk && go have f*ck party's.?
Cuz that's the new trend guyss.! Ahah funny shitt man.
I'd rather not get into detail about anything.
Cuz next thing you know it's gonna be going around.
"OMG did you hear about Sarah and Bianca.?" BLAHHH BLAHHH BLAHHH.!

We don't caree, we're "tooo drunkk." We won't remember.!
AHAHAHA.!


&& YESSS BIANCA IT WAS TEA.! Not pisss, I don't roll solo.
Those are OUR jobsss.! I don't get drunk without you babee.! xD


Ahaha I feel on topp of the world with chu girl.!
I ♥ you.!((:

*Alcohol Alcohol Alcohol Alcohol Alcohol Alcholo Alcohol.*


I swear, I sound so mean in these thingss.
All cocky && shitt huh.? Ohh well.((:

I'm nicee don't worry.


-Gizmo.

Regency.

Need a cut.? Facial.? Manicure.? Maybe all of the above.?
Hair cuts starting at $9.00.

Ask for Zee. 520-204-1100
Broadway & Kolb. Next to Joann's.

Say Sarah sent you.(:

Regency Beauty Insitute.

"Truth" October 20th, 2009.

I have something to say about this blog. I don't mean to be harsh.... But I take it back, F**k it.! I'm done trying. It's as simple as that. I guess I don't have a bestfriend. Still love you dude.
On the other hand. Let me tell yuh about Friday-October 23rd, 2009. Cholla H.S Homecoming.

I had a feeling that, that day wasn't gonna be all that great since I first got up. So the night before we make shirts we spent like 6 f'kn hours all for what.? NOTHING.!!! Ugh you have no idea how made you got me. Only one who ever follows though anymore is "My makeup Artist." (I'm not dropping names in any of these.) And then after my moring was killed me and him are uneasy. So we hardly talk allllll day. I was left with "My Makeup Artist" and "Hot Wings" after school, till the buring if the C. Then I was okay, a little tired but okay. So everythings all fine and dandy. He comes back, they burn the C and we wait for the game to start. By then I'm tired like no other. On be half that I was at school the WHOLE day. It's like 6 by this time, soo I keep b*tching that I wanna get buzzed or something so I wont be so tired. Blahhh Blahh Blahh more time goes by and next thing you know everyone's fadded. And I'm madd cuz I'm all sober. Ahah, so the "laggers" sooner or later show up. And I'm mad cuz they took away "My Makeup Artist." and he left to smoke. So I call my "Lindsay Lohan." and she's down and brings drinks. So I'm all f'kn exicted waiting for her to come. I go say hi to my beloved "Todd." :D And soon enough "Lindsay Lohan." comes, and he's already in the dance. So I'm madd, but I was whatever I'm gonna have a good time. We finish the drinks and go to the dance. Ahaha the rest I'm not gonna go into detail. All I'm gonna say...."men" are drama. And I'm not so...happy.? With you at the moment... But "Lindsay Lohan." makess it all go away. I love yuh dude. Ahaha "I NEED NEW FRIENDS.!" :D Ohhh yeahh and we weren't drunkk.! Ahaha iDGAF anymore. Solo. -Gizmo.

-

"You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors
Its the morning of your very first day
you say hi to your friends you aint seen in a while
Try and stay out of everybodys way
its your freshman year and youre gonna be here
for the next four years in this town
hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say
you know I havent seen you around, before."



-Gizmo.

Truth.

Can I ask you something.? Can I be honest.? Let me tell you what's on my mind.?
I'm confused, I don't understand any of this. I fell the tears swell in my eyes, just thinking about the past. We...we were beyond close. Every day, every second it was me and you. The only thing I had keeping me together. But...I mean, like they say things change. Right.? People grow apart and we go our ways.? I feel like I'm on my own now. Agh I stand alone. I miss how close we use to be. Things wont be the same.?

Just to put it out there, I'm not talking about a guy.

I miss my "bestfriend."


-Gizmo.

Tuesday.(:

"It's great to be great. But it's better to be human." WR


Good day today. Agh but I have to get blood work tomrrow.
Chronic Illness.): A chronic illness is a disease that has a prolonged course, does not resolve spontaneously, and rarely is completely cured.
##### me sideways, I'm doomed.


-Gizmo.

Grandpa.

Constantion Reyes. Dear lord I hope you get better. Your strong I know you can fight, don't let this cancer defeat you.
I love you.<3

"My the sunshine warm upon your face. My God hold you in his hands and keep you face."

-Luigi V

Look closely, it's a manikin. Photography is amazing.
Photo by Luigi V http://photo.net/photos/Luigi%20V



-Gizmo.

I feel on top of the world.

"I feel like I've just seen the sun for the first time
You make my life bright cuz you shine
Cuz you and me baby, it's our time
I'm livin my dream girl cuz you mine
You got me skipping down the street
And got me singing love songs all outta key
I didn't smoke none but i feel so high
And i know why
It's a love thang, it's got to be
Your hearts all locked and i got the key
It feels like i just won the lottery."


Ahhh man I'm in the best mood everyy.((: Fuck the drama, but I hate the fact that we're not talking. Ahhh dude we've been though so much. 4 yearss.! Let's talk it outt.? |:


Anywho Halloween is coming up and Homecoming.;) I don't know what I'm gonna do anymore for Halloween.? Bestfriend.? It's like I don't have one anymore.?


Argh wtf.? I'm not making any sense.?! No writting for today.


-Gizmo.

Sickkk.

Sick–adjective 1. afflicted with ill health or disease; ailing.

Agh, I think I'm dying. No jokee. I have like 50billion doctor appts to
go to. Gayyyy.):

Hey I think your cute, would you like to be my bestfriend.?

So I think it's done. Uhh don't you just hate being unsure of things .?

For instants, let's talk about me.((: One year on Wednesday. October 7th, 2009.): In a blink of an eye, it's all gone. "Poof". Ahh I'm still a kid, I hve my whole life to findd "the one." I'll just wait and see what happens.? Pointless...

Ahhh so my day, today is gonna be about my dayy. Today was stupid.((: But good for the most part. Lunchh was my favoritee, listened to my brotherr playy. Ahhh amazing.:D He' gonna be big one dayy.(: And he got me into some really good music.:D It's starting to get cold, I loveeeeee it.<3 Anddddd I'm going to Flagstaff tomrrow to see my sista, I miss her.): Ohhhh annnnndddd I'm super exicted, I might go to New York for my birthday.:D Ahhh New York during Christmas, Time Square covered in snoww. It's a dreammm.((: I can't waitt.

Okay now let's hear the bad news, 100708.):....Mohomo might movee.): Argh and I know some cockky ass people. Like seriously.?! Grow the fuckkk up.! Aha but it's whatever your outta my lifee for good. Didn't need you anyways. Cockkky fuckk.!xD

Ahhh dearr believe I'm not meann, I just had to get that out. Even though it's truee and everyone knowss.xD

-Gizmo.

Children.

There once was a monster in my closet. I miss those days. Think back, thinkk wayyyy backkk.

It's crazy isn't it.? How fast things change, people come and go. Life was so care free. I remember my mom used to take me to my grandpa's house, and they would open all the windows on a cool breezy day. And I would just fall asleep and take a napp. I can't help but to think back on that when I feel the breeze. Sometimes I wish I was 5 again. Don't we all.?

-Gizmo.